Why I went ghost and deleted Instagram #therealtruth

I'm a type four enneagram, wing three. If you know anything about the personality test, you'll understand my off-the-grid mentality. I had to protect my thought life, do some self-discovery, stop comparing my path to everyone else, and grow away from the public eye.

It started off extremely positive...the motivational content, faith-filled posts, creative videos, you name it! However, it became a highlight upkeep and often made me lose touch with reality. I found myself trying to maintain an image I was outgrowing.

Way Too Consumed

“We're so busy watching out for what's ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.”

I heard this statement about a month ago: "Instagram is a place for dreamers. Either you're following the life you want to live or you're creating it." I'd like to dissect this a little more.

The part I got tripped up on was the personal watching and waiting. I was happy to inspire others with the achievements I was making in my own life, but I began feeling like there was an unspoken competition. For example, when the first hard lock-down was in place there was a ton of pressure to hustle during quarantine. On top of that, stimulus checks kicked in and people had money to blow and invest. No one actually says these things out loud, so I'll be the first...many of us were making moves to impress others. To keep it a buck, I found myself in that boat at times too.

I was also drowning in opinions, gloating over success, and unrealistic expectations. Have you ever felt the need to rush your process due to the distraction of another?

The truth: I was way too consumed in an APP. I had to remind myself that life is so much more than curating a highlight reel. I needed to be present again. I needed to enjoy the nuances of my own journey and trust the timing of every season I'm going through. I needed to stop rushing at the expense of keeping up with people who don't even care.

Reconnecting to Reality

Literally a week after I officially deleted my account, I found so many negative thoughts I was struggling with disappear. I didn't realize until then how badly I was dealing with comparison, and trust me...it is the number one killer of joy. I gained so much contentment back. I was finally appreciating my lot in life and actually believing all that I have is all that I need.

I also got way more connected to the community around me. I was in major need of family and friends not digital fans. A like and comment just wasn't doing it for me anymore. I needed actual heart-to-hearts even if they were just shared through FaceTime, phone calls, or voice memos. I felt like I was actually apart of people's lives again not just watching them. This has truly sparked genuine support and celebration of others, and I'm so grateful. This was a heart posture I was seeking after for a very long time.

Moving forward

Overall, I think I'll dive back into the IG world eventually. It's something I'm praying about now. I'm actually kind of excited to start over when God gives me the go. The platform is definitely a great tool and a good thing when used healthily. I promised myself to no longer put energy into things that mess up my state of mind. We don't have to engage in anything until we are ready.

I encourage you to give yourself a break when needed as well. It may not take deleting an instagram account, but if you find anything in your life that is meant for good but is not benefitting your growth or serving others, don't be afraid to step back for a bit. Collect yourself and then try again, but take your time.